History is old and has existed long before our modern society. The words of The Bible, however, have existed since even before history which science has proved to have begun around 60 years ago. Up until the Babel incident, and the subsequent murder of George Floyd, mankind lived in relative hominy where misunderstandings, deja vu, and the heartbreak of psoriasis were uncommon. Folks knew not of gibberish, abracadabra, blabber, burble, Dutch ovens, double-talk, drivel, gabble, gibber, jabber, jabberwocky, mumbo jumbo, nonsense, prattle and slobber.
And so, it came to pass, in the land of OZ, The Bible emerged from the prehistorical soup of man’s consciousness to bring God’s message of love to the proletariat in order to forge a casserole of unity, clarity, and empathy among the opiated masses through HIS divine word alone.
That said, let us take a stroll through the landscape of perfect love and supreme wisdom from the fermented pages of the Christian Bible which was written without the help of the internet. History is old, but not as old as some of these jokes from the Bible:
“Like a dog that returns to its vomit, Is a fool who repeats his folly”. Proverbs 26:11.
“Beware of the dogs, beware of the evil workers, beware of the false circumcision;” Philippians 3:2.
“And a young man followed him, with nothing but a linen cloth about his body. And they seized him, but he left the linen cloth and ran away naked.” Mark 14:51–52.
“If a man lies with an animal, he shall surely be put to death, and you shall kill the animal.” Leviticus 20:15.
“Then the Lord opened the mouth of the donkey, and she said to Balaam, “What have I done to you, that you have struck me these three times?” Numbers 22:28.
“When you can balance a tack hammer on your head, you will head off your foes with a balanced attack.” The Spinx from Mystery Men, 1999, BBC Productions
“If he weren’t a stick his own self, I’d say he had a stick up his butt.” — Tom Robbins.
“It is better to live in a corner of the housetop than in a house shared with a quarrelsome wife.” Proverbs 21:9 (it is said that this was first uttered by Hyshab-the-henpecked in a backroom of Yab-Hooters in Gashat).
From this, we can know well that HE has shown us the glorious path away from eternal damnation.
So, slumber firmly and resist being a meal of every flying creeping thing, that goeth upon all fours, which have legs above their feet, to leap withal upon the earth; (including) the locust . . . the beetle . . . and the grasshopper after his kind in your hammock.